As I have basically been sitting here waiting for appointments and word on insurance it seems that there are times I feel like I am going to go crazy. It didn't help that Monday the 27th of September was unusually quiet around the house... that eerie dead silent, gloomy outside, no rain or wind or noise, just dark sky's, extremely calm before a big storm quiet.. I hope there wont be any more days like that before or after my surgery. I have been trying to hang out with friends and continue going to events before I am laid up for however long it will take to recover after surgery. But, the waiting for it to come and be over with is feeling long and dragged out. Even now I started counting down the days until I go in for surgery. About 22 days give or take a couple hours. 3 more weekends and I do have some adventures planned but not sure if they will go through.
I have the check up from the catheter test On October 1st, the last Surgeons visit on October 14th and then Surgery on October 20th. I kind of feel anxious and hope that feeling is normal. Not knowing how things will turn out is probably my biggest concern. Although I keep being told by more and more friends, family and new acquaintances that I will be ok and that the incident 2 months ago with a teenager who died on the table was a rarity, and that he was in a different situation than I am/will be. They are saying he was an emergency operation and that his wasn't caught in time.
In any case I do have one wish or request that I am trying to fulfill before my surgery. I just want someone to cuddle with and have listen to my chest once before surgery and then after the bandages are off do it again sometime.. not different people but the same person. It's kind of hard for me as I am single and shy. All of my friends are taken and I can't ask them. I guess I feel weird about it or something.
Does anyone have any suggestions or stories on how to pass the time? I know I have been cleaning and moving things around when I can, but, sometimes I feel the need to do something else.